Let God Be Magnified

A Story of Faith and Health Challenges Written by Sarah Smith

My world suddenly went quiet at 16 years old. An audiologist said that my hearing loss was probably caused by a virus and prescribed a steroid medication. Even after taking the medication, I was devastated that I still couldn’t hear anything from my right ear. Not only did I lose my hearing, but I also lost my dad several months earlier.

As part of my grieving process, I would go on long walks in the woods after school. It was there that God met me in my darkest moment. As sunlight peeked through the tall Georgia pine trees, I looked up and sensed an immense love from my Creator, bringing relief from my heartache and loneliness. I realized that though I couldn’t hear my friends or teachers very well, I could hear God’s voice. My disability humbled me so that I desired to listen. I prayed for answers and waited for healing.

As my spirit grew stronger in the years ahead, my body continued to weaken. I suffered from headaches, dizziness, fatigue, memory loss, and other issues. During college, I felt prompted to complete my student teaching internship in another state. I prayed about the decision and felt strongly that I needed to move to Arizona. While living in Arizona, I learned about a new hearing aid for single-sided deafness and scheduled an appointment to learn more. The doctor told me that in order to qualify, I needed to get an MRI since I never got one. 

On my drive home from the appointment, I felt a sense of urgency to complete the requirements for student teaching. Although the portfolio wasn’t due for two more months, I focused and finished everything, as well as my MRI in two weeks — just in time to celebrate my 25th birthday. I blew out the candles on my birthday cake and wished for a wonderful upcoming year. 

The day after my birthday was my follow-up appointment. The doctor showed me the MRI scan and a huge tumor on my brain! My heart started pounding. My hands shook. I thought about all of my health challenges. I had seen different doctors throughout the years, and my blood tests always came back normal. I was so frustrated and confused, not knowing what was wrong with me. The well-meaning doctors probably thought my symptoms were all in my head, which they were — literally! 

The next few days felt like I was living through a nightmare. My mom flew to Arizona so that we could talk with a neurosurgeon together. The surgeon told us that my hearing loss was caused by an acoustic neuroma — a rare benign tumor. My tumor was twice the size of a large acoustic neuroma. It had grown so much that it not only destroyed my entire cochlear nerve but was compressing my brain stem.

We learned that the surgery to remove my tumor would last three days. I asked what my life would look like if I survived the surgery, and the doctor gave a long list of possibilities including permanent balance, breathing, and swallowing difficulties. “The bigger the tumor, the higher the risk of complications and infections,” he said without any hope. Then he added, “Your tumor has been stretching out the nerve that controls muscles in your face. After I remove your tumor, the right side of your face will severely droop as if you had a stroke. And if you can’t close your eye from paralysis then over time you could lose your vision.” 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! How could God let this happen? I was filled with panic as I realized that I had zero control of the outcome. That night I cried myself to sleep feeling terrified, mad, and forsaken by God. I was drowning in fear, and God seemed silent. 

The next morning, I woke up with a migraine and felt like staying in bed with the covers over my head. My faithful mom encouraged me to go to church with her where we could find some reprieve and gain perspective. We sat down on a bench and held hands. I tried to quiet my sobs as I thought about my future. 

A Bible lay next to me and I picked it up and stared at the cover. I didn’t know exactly what to read or pray for. My heart just cried, “God, help me!” I flipped the book open to Psalm chapter 70. My eyes caught hold of the invitation in verse 4 that says, “Let God be magnified.” After meditating on those words, my perception of the situation shifted from hopeless to an opportunity for God to show Himself. I could see a tiny flicker of light in my dark prognosis. 

I remembered people’s experiences in Scripture where I learned that God’s character was good, and I held onto that truth. Perhaps God, the One who is in control, could turn this experience into something good. I realized that I had a choice to make: I could continue to wallow in self-pity or start believing in a miracle. I wanted to come closer to God so that I could see Him as He is — mightier than anything, even brain surgery. 

I flew home to Georgia while I waited for surgery. During those weeks, I studied the miraculous stories in Scripture to build my confidence in God’s abilities. God protected Daniel from lions. Jesus gave sight to the blind and healed a paralyzed man. He fed 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. And He raised Lazarus from the dead! No matter how impossible situations appeared, God’s power was magnified.

I went on walks in the woods as I had done years before, and in the quiet stillness I listened. God spoke peace to my soul and reassured me of His sovereignty. I declared powerful truths aloud until my heart really believed them. “Thank you God for working all things together for my good (Romans 8:28). I will not fear, because you are with me (Isaiah 41:10). You are my shield and my stronghold (Psalm 18:2). Jesus, you said that mountains can move with a small amount of faith” (Matthew 17:20). I internalized the possibility of God moving my mountain and visualized being healed. The God who parted the Red Sea could make a way for me to walk through surgery unharmed. 

I began to see that God was already working in the details of my situation. Tender mercies were all around me! The Dean of Education decided to give me full credit so that I could graduate without delay. My apartment was just thirty minutes away from a world-renowned neurological hospital, and my surgeon specialized in acoustic neuromas. Thankfully, my mom’s insurance would cover the enormous cost of surgery. Only God could have foreseen what was going to happen and orchestrated the timing perfectly! I thought, “What if my life is not falling apart but coming together into perfect alignment?” 

Surgery was scheduled a week before Christmas. I woke up that morning feeling anxious but hopeful, and that hope in Jesus Christ was my anchor. Faced with uncertainty, I focused on what I was certain about. I didn’t know how or if God would deliver me the way I wanted. I just believed God could. As my mom drove me to the hospital, I kept repeating in my mind, “Let God Be Magnified!” 

I checked in and changed into a hospital gown in a private room. I took a deep breath and knelt down on the cold tile floor. With all the faith in my little heart, I prayed to walk out of the hospital without any serious impairments from surgery! I wanted an undeniable miracle to glorify God. 

I was aware that my bold request could be answered differently. I thought about my faithful dad who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Doctors predicted that he had only a few months left to live. My family prayed so hard that he would be healed, and my dad lived for eight miraculous years filled with wonderful memories. In the end, he was relieved of physical pain and welcomed home. God’s perspective was higher than mine.

I told God, “You know what I want, but I trust your ways more. Whatever happens, I will still love you.” I raised both arms and surrendered the outcome into God’s hands. In that moment I was filled with peace because I had come to know Who I was surrendering to. 

I went to give my mom a big hug. She said, “I will be praying in the waiting area the entire three days of surgery. God’s got this!” As I lay down on the gurney, my surgeon asked if he could pray over me. As I listened to his prayer, I was amazed that God had guided me to a surgeon who was a believer and open to receiving divine help.

After thirteen hours, the surgeon walked up to my mom in the waiting room and said, “I have never experienced such smooth sailing during brain surgery before! The tumor came right out. I am finished and do not need more time in the operating room. Praise God!” 

Once the anesthesia wore off, I woke up in the ICU with zero complications! I was able to think clearly, breathe on my own, and swallow normally. Miraculously, my smile remained intact. And, to my surprise, I could hear better! With tears in my eyes, I thanked my brilliant surgeon Dr. Randall Porter. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for all his years of training and preparation that helped save my life.

Doctor Porter stood speechless as he tried to comprehend my reality. After a long pause he humbly replied, “I was the instrument. Your surgery and outcome are medically unexplainable.” I looked toward Heaven and smiled; I’m pretty sure God winked. Then God spoke to me and said, “Sarah, I got you through surgery. Now trust me in your recovery.” 

After such an invasive operation, I had to learn how to walk again. As I inched down that ICU hallway, I felt God’s help and thought about how I had been rescued. “My tumor had grown for so many years because of human ignorance. God, you alleviated my suffering by strengthening my body, comforting my heart, and leading my way. While I waited on you for healing, my faith was ripening. At the right time and with the right surgeon, you redeemed an unfortunate situation. You didn’t just show up at the last minute when I desperately needed your help. You have been with me all along, even when I didn’t feel it for a time. Your promise is true, God! You would never leave me or forsake me.” I had to stop walking and call for my nurse, because I was crying and couldn’t see where I was going.

I walked out of the hospital a few days after surgery like I prayed. Being with my mom and sisters for Christmas was such a gift. All snuggled together in my bed, we listened to our favorite Christmas carols. My heart was full of love for my Savior! Jesus was born to bring hope and healing into this world, and I felt it so personally.

It’s been many years since my surgery. My hair grew back, and I have a family of my own now. Some days are still hard. I struggle with headaches, fatigue, and depression. My scars have faded but not gone away. Being held by the One who is whole is where I find refuge and strength on my healing journey. Peace comes when I stop longing for all my discomforts to be taken away and spend my energy appreciating the source of continual relief. God’s display of love is miraculous no matter how the gift is wrapped or when it arrives.

My experience has taught me that God can redeem any hardship and turn it into gold while mending my heart in the process. It’s hard to feel hopeful during a dark season, so I must hold tight to the truth that THERE IS HOPE. The sun is always shining! Every time I earnestly reach for God, He’s there. Sometimes it just takes me a while to realize it. I will keep surrendering my life and handing over my pen, so God can write on the blank pages of my story. God has been my faithful provider, and I believe He will continue to take care of me.